An Article to Share...

The following is an article which was recently posted in the Banbury Cake, a British newspaper. I'm sure it was the personal side of this story which really appealed to me. Seeing how Sarah's difficulties followed her into adulthood, and how she's coped, has given me a better idea of what types of challenges might lie ahead for Jordan. My thanks to Emily Allen for allowing me to share this story with you.

Asperger’s diagnosis helped things ‘make sense’

10:58am Thursday 9th September 2010

By Emily Allen

SARAH Hewitt always felt like an outsider at school.

She was disruptive, found it difficult to make friendships, and for years she wondered why she did not fit in.

To escape the confusion and angst which beset her days at Bloxham School, she would immerse herself in music, and excelled at the clarinet and saxophone.

It was not until she was 26 that doctors diagnosed her with Asperger Syndrome (AS), after her mother Sue suspected her daughter’s social difficulties were not normal.

Mrs Hewitt, who is married to 45-year-old property developer Chris Liversedge, said the diagnosis changed her life, and helped save her relationship.

Asperger Syndrome is a form of autism, a life-long and incurable disability which affects how a person makes sense of the world, processes information and relates to other people.

Mrs Hewitt, who now lives in Stanton Harcourt, said: “Some things had been going wrong for years, and my mum said she thought I had a chemical inbalance.

“I had difficulties in social situations and managing relationships.

“When you get older, children are expected to become more responsible and learn how to interact with other people and how to empathise, but I did not.”

Around 588,000 people in the UK are thought to suffer from some type of autism including Asperger’s, but only one in five are female. Diagnosis so late in life is also rare, with many youngsters showing signs from the age of two-years-old.

Mrs Hewitt added: “I would get left behind in conversations and I could not master the skill of making people feel good about themselves or comfortable with me in their company.

“I was too honest about things, I did not learn to ‘white lie’. I was very blunt with people and didn’t realise what I was saying would cause offence.

“My sister and her friends in Stratford always spoke of someone called ‘Orange John’. I really offended him when I met him, as I said: ‘You must be Orange John’ and I did not understand that was not what everyone really called him.”

The 33-year-old dropped out of Goldsmith’s University after a term, and began a cycle of different jobs, all of which she said ended after relations with her colleagues deteriorated.

She has maintained her current role as a senior technical consultant for BT thanks to the support of the company and the National Autistic Society employment arm Prospects.

She said: “When I was diagnosed, it really helped, things made sense. It really helped my relationship with my parents and sister, they realised I wasn’t a nutcase, but that my brain was wired differently.

“I do not know if my relationship with Chris would have lasted had I not been diagnosed. He understands it now and my differences. He knows if I am behaving strangely I am not doing it intentionally. He is a very patient man.”

She admits although she has become more aware of herself, she still struggles with ‘meaningless small talk’ and is dogged by obsessive behaviour – both typical characteristics if people with AS.

She added: “The difficulty is, it is so invisible, AS does not affect intelligence or the way you look.

“It can be very difficult because people expect you to be the same as them and operate in the same manner, but there are subtle differences which can surprise people.”

For help and advice on dealing with autism or Asperger’s call the National Autistic Society call 0845 070 4004.

© Copyright 2001-2010 Newsquest Media Group

Posted with permission from Emily Allen.

Is a Tomato a Fruit?

*This* I had to share because, well...it's classic Jordan.

A few weeks back during Jordan's class trip to science camp, our group was patiently waiting for the wagon to arrive so we could be transported to our next learning adventure location. While we were waiting, a lovely gentleman by the name of "Grandpa" decided to fill the time by talking with the students about the foods we grow. At one point, he asked the kids to name their favorite vegetables, and so each took a turn telling us what they liked to eat.

At one point in the discussion, someone mentioned tomatoes. To "Grandpa," this was an "ah-haaa" moment which needed further investigation, so he asked the students, "...but kids wait a minute, is a tomato a vegetable or is it a fruit?"

All at once, about half of the students shouted out "vegetable" and the others staked their claim for "a fruit." Grandpa quickly settled down the ruckus that arose, and then listened to a couple of students as they stated their rationale.

Then without raising her hand, Jordan spoke out in a clear voice and very matter-of-factly -- "Of course a tomato is a vegetable. Don't any of you know about Bob the Tomato? He's on *VEGGIE TALES*. Get it? Veggie Tales?"

The high-wattage light bulbs in everyone's thinking caps seemed to all turn on at once, as I scanned faces throughout the group. And the "oh yeah..." smiling facial expressions I saw among the chaperones were priceless.

Yep. That's my outside-the-box thinker. And I'm yours truly, her very proud Mom.

And We're Back

Well, it's been about six weeks, so I'll very briefly mention some highlights.

We flew out of state to my husband's (military) retirement ceremony. Jordan flew with her daddy, and I flew with our other daughter so as to increase the chances we'd all arrive (going standby) in time.  One thing which Jordan likes about traveling is she loves staying in hotels (so far she's not caught on to the bedbug outbreak - which is good).  Finding food that she'll like is always a challenge, however.  But this trip, Jordan actually did very well during the Marine ceremony as well as at the reception, and we returned home within two days.  

Oh wait -- I forgot. At the retirement party that evening, Jordan perked up out of her slight boredom when one of the pilots in my husband's squadron took the stage.  It was this guy's job to recognize what the group was sure to miss about Paul in the weeks ahead, by telling some classic anecdotes about him, using humor and props along the way.  I wish I would have had the time that evening to blog about what happened because it's an area which deserves to stand on its own...I'd say maybe ⅔ of the way into this guy's speech, Jordan chimed in something to the effect that "My dad has a lot of gas."  Oh - my - gosh, I wanted a trap door to immediately open under my baby's chair and stop her from saying anything further.  Of course, the Marines thought this child was brilliantly funny, which only fed her desire to say more.  No horrified glares or threatening whispers were going to stop her now - and on she went through the rest of his speech.  But again, all things considered, Jordan was quiet and respectful at the ceremony itself, making this a pretty successful trip.   

Heading back to school that Monday, we learned that one of Jordan's teachers was not returning. An e-mail from the school stated that the teacher resigned, but every cell in my body lead me to feel otherwise. Now many weeks later, all of my instincts still tell me that this teacher was fired. What bothers me most about this can be laid out in two parts. For starters, parents had no part in this decision. Especially having a child who does not acclimate quickly to change, one who has grown to not like school at all, I've been very disappointed that parents were not informed nor asked to share our concerns before any decisions were made. Secondly, I feel that I've had to lie to Jordan about why her teacher is no longer at her school. This whole thing has been a setback to what began as a great year.  Jordan is not happy about school again and she's had to become acclimated to a new teacher, who in return, has had to learn all about Jordan.  In this regard, it's been a fairly difficult month.

The next big thing to occur was Jordan's class trip, of which I was one of the chaperones.  Our group traveled to a summer camp, about a two and a half hour drive from our school, where we stayed for three days to learn about science in the wilderness. Again, Jordan's main struggle was food, but one of the kitchen staff (who told me she herself had been a picky eater as a child) took a special interest in Jordan and cooked her bacon (crispy but not overdone) for two of her meals. To Jordan, this rates high up there with the invention of the television, so Jordan's energy level and her outlook for the rest of the camp experience improved to the highest levels! So thank you Kim - you were her guardian angel!

And so that's what's kept me extremely busy. All of this plus my other daughter's volleyball schedule, having my husband move back home again after 7 years away (for the most part), Homecoming week & Halloween. 

It's all good. My child is wonderfully made.   :)

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."   Psalm 139:14  NIV